


Seasons Have Changed and so Have We

by jesswritesthings (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Liam, CEO zayn, Cheating, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fighting, Flashbacks, Implied Mpreg, Insecure Liam, M/M, Married Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Sad Liam, Smut, lirry friendship, zarry hates each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4471712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jesswritesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t think of Liam when he fucks into the guy he can’t remember the name of in the back of his Range Rover or the time he spreads Michael one of his employee’s on his and Liam’s bed and eats him out before sending him on his way with a small kiss on his lips. He doesn’t but he cries in the morning after in one of Liam’s shirts as he watches their wedding videos and thinks over where everything went wrong and why he couldn’t still be in love with this guy that gives him and supports him through everything.</p><p>or </p><p>Where Zayn doesn’t love Liam like he use too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this as been in my draft for months and I mean monthssssssss, so I finally decided to finish it.
> 
> (inspired by the songs Dangerously in Love and Brokenhearted Girl / both songs by Beyoncé)

** Z **

 

This is it. He makes up his mind as he’s lying silently in his bed with his husband’s head on his chest. This is the first time in weeks since they slept in the same bed, and even then, Zayn still feels cold and lonely; no matter how hard or close he pulls Liam’s sleeping body towards his, it doesn’t feel the same.

 

It isn’t supposed to be this way. He doesn’t want to be thinking about divorce or ever leaving Liam in anyway, especially if a whole fourteen year relationship is going down the drain. But he can’t handle the fights and arguments, or leaving in the middle of the night to go crash at a friend-s house. Zayn can’t even remember the last time he actually got to hold Liam and kiss him; or anything rather intimate. He doesn’t remember what Liam’s mouth tastes like or the sounds it makes when Zayn goes down on him. And it’s so fucking frustrating.

 

He thought the forever they had wouldn’t have an end. That Liam and his relationship will go down in history, but their forever isn’t that long. He doesn’t know if he’s in love with Liam as it is, in this very moment as he is rubbing his palms over his hipbone, like he always does when they’re lying down.

 

“Why do you always do that?” Liam asked, twisting his body over so he was no longer the small spoon and started to cuddle up to his boyfriend. He craned his neck up, sporting a light pink blush. “I like when you rub my hips, always when we’re lying down.”

 

Zayn hummed peaking one eye open to look down on Liam. He shrugged, stopping the soothing circular motion on his boyfriend’s hip. He hadn’t noticed that it was a ritual, if Liam hadn’t mentioned it he didn’t think he would have ever noticed. He trailed his fingers lightly up his spine, dancing over each vertebra before cupping the base of his neck; he pulled at the short hairs then guided his face up to plant a chaste kiss on his mouth.

 

“I guess it’s familiar. It’s safe, I don’t know,” he murmured, shutting his eyes again. Zayn felt Liam press kisses to jugular, light, warm and oh-so familiar.

 

Wrapping an arm securely around Liam’s waist and dragging him into his body more, tangled their limbs together as he had no choice but to rest his chin on top of the younger boy’s head.

 

Taking in a deep inhale then cuddling up close (as if that was possible, they were basically merging together into one), Liam exhaled, “I like it, it could be our thing.”

 

Zayn chuckled, making seventeen year old Liam blush. “Sleep, babe. School tomorrow, we can’t be late again or ya mum will never let you sleep over again.” He told him palming his hipbone then started to rub over it slowly.

 

When Zayn wakes up the next morning of only four hours of sleep, he untangles his arm from underneath Liam’s heavy, sleeping body. He rolls over cautiously then slowly plants his feet to the cool ground before making his way to the bathroom outside of their bedroom. He shuts and locks the door then stares at his tired appearance in the mirror, there is bags forming under is eyes and his hair looks greasy and matted, he barely recognizes himself.

 

Instead of going back into his room for his shower essentials, he strips off his boxers and goes into the tub. Turning the water lukewarm and standing underneath the shower for five minutes; to get his body to relax to the water. He closes his eyes and lets his mind wander to the good ole days.

 

They were standing sideways in the school’s gym shower. It was so tiny that Liam’s back was flushed against the cool granite walls, barely getting soaked by the water. Zayn just got done with basketball practice since there was going to be a game a week from then. And it took a lot of convincing to get Liam to agree to get into the shower with him, since the coach didn’t want boyfriends/girlfriends at practices before a big game.

 

“Mr Ross is going to catch us,” Liam giggled, spinning both of them around so his body was underneath the cool water and Zayn was pressed against the wall. “Then you won’t be able to play the last home game.” He whispered, nudging Zayn in his chest.

 

Zayn snorted, bumping Liam out of the way to wash out his hair of sweat and muck, before he applied shampoo. “’M the best player on the team. If coach wants us to lose then sure, I’ll be the benchwarmer.” He nonchalantly replied so after, massaging the soap into his scalp.

 

Liam scoffed at his cockiness because everyone and Zayn knew he wasn’t the best, he was good but not the greatest; then brushed his hands out of his hair replacing it with his own. Instead of scrubbing the sweat and dirt out of his hair, he started to run his fingers through it and flatten it into a Mohawk and other ridiculous hairstyles. They were probably in the shower for fifteen minutes, doing everything but cleaning their bodies.

 

“Stop, Leeyum!” Zayn whined out, all high-pitched and whiny, slapping Liam’s hands out of his hair. Finally wanting to wash out the soapy studs but Liam disagreed as he running his fingers through it and giggling before Zayn grabbed him by his waist and turned them around so he was standing under the water.

 

“You’re always no fun,” he jutted out his bottom lip, crossing his arms. Zayn did nothing but laugh as he craned his neck back scrubbing and rinsing out the studs. “Aren’t we supposed to be shagging or something? Isn’t this everyone’s fantasy, like we in a school shower! Let’s do it!” Liam shouted, flinging up his arms in a protest.

 

After when Zayn’s hair was clean minus the fact that he skipped the conditioner, he stepped a bit from under the shower and pressed a firm, tantalizing kiss to Liam’s mouth. An off guard gasp/moan escaped his lips as Zayn swallowed it; he grabbed the base of his neck to keep their mouths together as Liam kept tumbling back. He didn’t even give Liam time to catch on the rhyme of the way he moved his lips or tongue or teeth, kept switching it up; leaving the younger boy a panting, reddened mess.

 

“Calm down that libido and keep it down until we get home, yeah?”

 

Liam nodded, still kind of hazy.

 

Zayn shook his head then started to cleanse his body with dove soap as Liam stood there, eyeing his half hardening cock. His mouth watering and thinking of all the things he wanted to do.

 

When Zayn slides back into his bedroom, Liam is still asleep. All sprawl out all with the duvet half on his body and the other half on the floor. He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes like it normally would have, when he’s admiring his husband. He goes and grabs a pair of boxer-briefs and yanks down a clean black suit from inside his side of the walk-in closet.

 

He takes a seat at the edge of the bed quietly so he doesn’t wake the sleeping man. He lotions his body with Vaseline and puts on a pair of black socks with his suit soon after, he slips his feet in his dress shoes then makes his way out of the bedroom. His hair is way to long, almost at his shoulders to style it so he decides against doing his hair and just blow drying and brushing it until its soft and flow-y; then ties it into a man-bun at the back of his head. He also decides against shaving, leaving his jaw and chin all scruffy as he scratches it.

 

He moves quickly to the first floor of their home to put on a cup of brew. Wanting to leave as fast as possible to make it to his office by 8:45AM and since it is 7:37AM at the moment and he knows that Liam will be up soon to make him breakfast. When the button goes off indicating that the water is down boiling Zayn makes a cup of Peppermint tea with milk and spoon and half of sugar then he’s out of the house.

** L **

 

When Liam rolls over to Zayn’s side of the mattress he finds that he’s not there. He immediately shoots up worrisome, swallowing down the yawn and skips the stretching before getting off the bed to go search for his husband. He slips his feet into Zayn’s house slippers (he never wears them because he likes the cold of the hardwood floors), then leaves the room, the first place Liam looks is Zayn’s office.

 

He never liked this room, it was the only room in the house Liam hated the most; just because Zayn will spend day and night in there locked up, and it caused most of the fights they had.

 

Liam banged his fist on the door, it was passing three am and Zayn had no plan on making it to bed anytime soon. Liam was so fed up, when Zayn said he was going to start working from home, he didn’t think he would still be invisible to his husband. He would sit in that damned office for hours, not even to get up and get something to eat or drink and Liam hated the fact that it had a half-washroom in there to.

 

Zayn was suppose to start working from home to get more time to spend with his four and a half month pregnant husband not doing the same thing he does at his actual office back in the city.

 

“Get off your feet and go to bloody sleep!” Zayn snapped, yanking the door open. Liam tumbled back frightened, he held underneath his swelled abdomen before catching Zayn’s stone, hard glare.

 

“I-I-I” he stuttered, shying away.

 

“Spit it out, I don’t have all night, I have to make some important calls and finish up some things.”

 

“Stop yelling at me, you’re stressing me out! Just come to bed, alright! Come with me, please!” Liam sobbed out; his voice was dry and chipped as he reached out to grab a hold of his husband’s hand.

 

Zayn moved his hand back then took a step back, his glare hardened as he was huffing out inhales and exhales. “No, for fuck’s sake; go to sleep, I’m not going to tell you again.” He voice lowered into a deep growl, making Liam cradle his stomach more into his hands.

 

“I can’t! I’m uncomfortable. I thought you decided to work from home so you can take care of me through the pregnancy but you’re not!” He yelled, shifting weight from one leg to the other, as his ankles were unbelievably swollen and achy.

 

Zayn took a step forward so he was nose to nose with Liam, his jaw was clenching and Liam’s breath hitched in his throat as it was getting harder to swallow with a lump forming. “Don’t you ever say I’m not taking care of you! I do all the working so you can sit on your lazy, spoiled arse all fucking day!” He spat, turning on his heel and heading back into his office and shutting the door in Liam’s face.

 

Tears formed in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. This wasn’t his fault, all he asked was for his husband to care, in a time like this when he needed him the most.

 

“I had a fucking job! I had one then you begged me to quit because you said you made enough to support a family of twelve! And I trusted you, I trusted you not to throw it back in my face but you are! I’m not lazy I try to do everything I could with swollen feet and a huge fucking stomach in front of me! I can’t even see my toes and I know you don’t find me attractive anymore. Okay, but I’m not sorry.”

 

“Go to sleep, Liam.” He said calmly, trying to block out the sobs coming from his husband’s mouth, focusing on his work that needed to be done then he could send it off.

 

“I can’t! Damn it, Zayn.”

 

“Then try harder, I’m busy. I won’t be in bed for another hour or so.”

 

“I hate you, you fucking ass hole!” He yelled, storming off to their bedroom after he had kicked the door in furry.

 

Liam slammed and locked the door as it echoed throughout the whole second floor of the home. The walls shook then he huffed still holding the bottom of his stomach as he sat and struggled at bit to move up in the middle of the mattress. He was still being stubborn to let one tear drop, but it wasn’t his fault; he just needed his husband.

 

He waited and waited as hours passed by, his back, ankles and feet ached to the core as not even the sleeping pillow could get comfortable enough for him to fall asleep. It was weighing on six am when there was a knock on the door, Liam jolted up hand immediately clutching the bottom of his abdomen.

 

“Open the door, Liam.”

 

Liam groaned when all his body weight was on his feet, he stretched a bit before waddling slowly to the door, biting back a wince. “Coming, just . . . hold on,” he breathed out, all of a sudden exhausted.

 

“Don’t have all day; I have to be back in the office at ten.” He groaned out, wiggling the doorknob fiercely.

 

He winced again as he was half way to the door but since their room was so large with a whole lot of unneeded space; he had to stop and hold onto the bedpost to catch his breath.

 

“Be patient with me for once, Zayn. Please, stop being so harsh on me, I’m pregnant I can’t do everything fast; and I’m extremely sore and tired so just quit it and wait a bit!” He shouted breathlessly, as tears from his raging hormones started to form in his eyes.

 

When he got to the door his hands were shaking as Liam wiped his eyes before opening it. He smiled weakly at his husband, “just—please, and s’not good for the baby.”

 

*

 

“You know I love you, right babe? You know I never wanted to hurt you, always wanted what was best for you, right?” Zayn cried as he held onto Liam’s hand, which he was laying on a hospital bed.

 

Two and a half weeks ago he had found his husband faint on the kitchen floor covered in blood and Harry hovered over him in tears as he was frantically speaking to the paramedics.

 

He was coming from a long day of work—since he decided that work from home wasn’t working out for him, it was even more stressful and tiresome. He called out for Liam to hear no reply, which was weird because if he was going out he would’ve texted or left a message for Zayn at the front desk.

 

He walked more into their home, untying his tie and shrugging off his suit coat. He smiled when he smelt something delicious coming from inside the kitchen. He shouted out for Liam again before being greeted with him on ground, blood pooled around him and his eyes shut; Zayn immediately rushed to his side, dropping to his knees and pulling Liam's head into his lap, ignoring Harry informing that the ambulance were on their way.

 

Even after they had lost their son, Zayn would come home from work and go straight into that office without saying a ‘hello’ or a kiss to the cheek to Liam.

 

There’s still no answer after three knocks so Liam decides to go and whip up something for breakfast. He doesn’t over think it; Zayn wouldn’t be ignoring him for any reason. He’s a busy man. He has company to run and important things to take care even if it means Liam’s left behind.

 

He goes all out with breakfast, since Zayn was in New York for almost three weeks for some business related “stuff” Liam knows that his husband will rarely eat if he’s too distracted with work. So, he makes all Zayn’s favourites: Apple cinnamon oatmeal, scrambled eggs, waffles—because he likes them better than pancakes—and peppermint tea, just like Zayn likes it.

 

Then he goes and rechecks all the rooms he knows Zayn would most likely be in: their home gym, the library, and home theatre, even his office again.

And he’s not in neither rooms, and Liam knows if he’s at the office, he will not answer his mobile nor work phone.

 

Liam tries not to dwell over it. He left because he was called in for something important not because he’s ignoring his husband. But then, his breathing picks up, heavier in his throat and his eyes are stinging with tears; his teeth are gritting together to suppress the ugly hiccups. Liam knows. And he wishes otherwise, he hates that he can see his relationship falling apart right before his eyes.

 

He sees and feels that Zayn doesn’t love him the same. The right-next-to-you or the I-love-you-forever are vanishing, Zayn no longer kisses Liam the same, makes him drive him to the airport or calls him every night like they use too.

 

He doesn’t let the tears drop; they stay stinging at the brim of his eyes. He has to look up at the ceiling ever so often because he refuses to cry, as he dishes out the breakfast into the garbage.

 

“Fuck!” He curses. His eyes are blurry, he can barely see a thing through them; he gets down on his knees before the tears are rolling down his redden cheeks as he’s carefully picking up the glass pieces.

 

Liam doesn’t hear when the door opens or when Zayn is walking pass the kitchen. Not like Zayn notices either. He enters their bedroom looking around for his briefcase before he’s shouting –

 

“Liam!”

 

He jumps up in fright at the sound. He scrambles up off his knees, wiping harshly at his eyes with his fists as strings of _fuck_ -s and _shit_ -s leave his mouth. He clears his throat when he hears the footsteps of Zayn coming to the kitchen.

 

“Have you seen my brief-case? The black one, not the brown,” he says nonchalantly, ignoring Liam’s presence and bloody knees as he typing away on his blackberry.

 

“I haven’t. Did you—” he coughs right before his voice can crack; he leans on the countertop before continuing, “try the front closet, I probably put it there when you got back last night.”

 

Zayn doesn’t even mumble out a ‘thanks’ and Liam sighs then limps to the washroom on the first floor to clean his bruise. When he gets out he sees his husband searching in his brief-case before zipping it back up.

 

“Want a brew before you go?” He offers with a timid smile.

 

“Have one in the car. Don’t wait up, not going to be out of the office ‘till late.” He tells him, grabbing the bag as he’s still typing away on his phone.

 

Liam moves around to face him, standing chest to chest as he’s feeling shy and like a teenage girl around their crush. He is bouncing nervously on his toes not sure if it’s alright to go in for a kiss. Zayn still isn’t giving Liam the time or day, and it frustrating, really.

 

“Liam, please I need to leave. Move aside.”

 

As embarrassing as this is Liam blushes a crimson red as he bows his head and moves to side, murmuring out, “sorry, babe.” Zayn pockets his mobile then double checks his he has everything—he does, then he beelines to the door but not before Liam rushes out, “I love you!” Then the door is slammed. Liam cringes.

 

-

 

“Calm down Liam,” Louis says answering Harry—his fiancé’s phone.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

Liam can’t form words the way his body is shuddering with hiccupy sobs. He’s been on the floor of Zayn’s office for more than an hour, crying before he had the courage to dial his best mate’s number. “Need, Ha-Har-Harry!”

 

He was sobbing; everyone on the tube was staring at him with saddened eyes. He was embarrassed to be crying like this in public but he needed to get away from his home, and find Harry. But he was no where to be found, he wasn’t at work, at his flat nor at his boyfriend’s Louis’ either; and his mobile would go straight to the voicemail.

 

He didn’t know what to do and going home was the last thing Liam wanted to do, especially if Zayn was there. They were supposed to be getting married in a few months; this was not supposed to be happening.

 

“You alright, love?” The lady with the blue-green hair and septum piercing that was eyeing Liam from across the tube asked. She kind of knew it was a stupid question, because it was in clear view that he was in no way alright.

 

He wiped his eyes with a tiny smile and nodded. “Not really, bad day, _really_ bad day,” he sighed then hiccupped.

 

His stop was coming up so he slowly got up still smiling at the girl. He waved when his stop finally came; he walked up the path to Harry’s flat again for the second time today. His eyes started to brim with tears when he spotted Harry shovelling in grocery into his flat; he quickly ran up to his best friend embracing him into his arms and crying into his back.

 

“Lou?” He shrieked but it didn’t stop Liam from clinging onto him.

 

“Ha-Harry,” he sobbed and immediately Harry dropped everything and twisted his body so he could cuddle his friend in need.

 

“Li,” He cooed, rubbing circles on his back as he cried into the crook of his neck. “Why are you crying?” He asked still cooing and still rubbing his back as he was leading his sobbing mate into his flat.

 

Forgetting about his groceries him and Liam both plopped down onto Harry's second-handed brown sofa. “You want a cuppa? Please, Li, you got to tell me what’s making you upset.”

 

All Liam did was whimper and cower more into himself on the sofa. His face was stained red and his cheeks and eyes are swollen, his body was shuddering uncontrollably and Harry hated that all Liam would do was whimper and hiccup.

 

Harry went to pack away his things and turn on the kettle for some tea. “He-he he’s che-cheating.” Liam finally muttered barely above an audible whisper.

 

“What?”

 

Liam shook his head, refusing to repeat what he just said. He hurt just thinking about it. Harry came back into his living room and sat back down,

 

“Are you sure? Zayn wouldn’t cheat, that boy loves you.”

 

Before Liam could’ve replied there was pounding on the door. Harry and Liam both looked at each other then there was yelling and pleading, “Liam, open the door please. Babe, you out of all people should know I’ll never hurt you. I love you, seriously, _we’re getting married soon_!”

 

Tears sprung out of Liam’s eyes and Harry was sick of watching his best mate cry like this, so he got up and marched to the door; yanked it open but not enough so Zayn can barge in.

 

“What the fuck, Zayn? Are you stupid?” Harry spat, glaring at Zayn as he had tears rolling down his cheeks. He was hiccupping and sobbing just like Liam was.

 

“I didn’t. That guy—” he choked swallowing by the lump forming in his throat. He leaned his body on the wall to support his weakening knees. “He was nobody—I mean, jus-just some fr-friend. He-he’s not even g-g-gay!” He sobbed, “Harry believe m-me, I-I-I love Li-Liam!”

 

Harry sighed but nonetheless moved to the side to let Zayn into his flat. He instantly ran over to Liam, kneeled down in front of him and hugged tightly around his waist. Pressing his face into the boy’s abdomen, sobbing.

 

“Babe, who’s on the phone?” Liam hears muffling in the background then Louis’ saying “it’s Liam, he’s crying.”

 

“Liam?” Harry asks his voice is familiar and welcoming making Liam sniffle a response.

 

“Why are you crying?”

 

“It-it’s ha-ha-happening again!”

 

“What is? You have to tell me or I cannot help you, babe.”

 

He’s breathes in deeply before exhaling shakily, he rubs at his eyes as they itch. “I-I don't know, b-but it i-is!”

 

Harry starts scattering about, looking for his keys, slipping on his shoes as Louis holds his jacket open do he can put it on. He mumbles something to Louis before he’s out the door; he gets to Liam and Zayn’s house in a matter of twenty minutes, with his mobile glued to his ear just listening to his friend cry.

 

“Relax, Li.” He says soothingly as parks his car up on their driveway. He gets out with a slam of his door behind him as he jogs up the pathway. “I bet everything’s fine, breathe, babe. In and out, breathe.” He instructs, repeating the breathing exercises as he unlocks the door with his secret emergency key, Liam gave him when him and Zayn moved in.

 

He hangs up the phone as he moves further into the home. “Liam, where are you, babe?” He calls out until he hears a wailing scream, and that’s when he bursts it up the stairs, the first room is Zayn’s office that’s wide open, and he slowly peaks in to see the room is trashed. Everything that’s suppose to be on the desk and bookshelf is on the floor, all the drawers are open and papers are scattered and torn, but his eyes lands on his crumpling friend that’s curled up in a ball in the middle of the office.

 

“I _hate_ him, Harry!” He seethes out, venom dripping from his tongue as his eyes aren't their normal warm, welcoming brown. “It’s like he wants us to be over! I did fucking _nothing_!”

 

-

** H **

 

It takes Harry fifty-five minutes to calm Liam down and clean him up as his face stained with tears and snot and his hands and knees are covered in blood. He cradles his friend in his lap as he rocks him soothingly as he sits on the toilet seat. Harry’s mouth is pressed to the side of Liam’s head murmuring and planting kisses there as he feels the shuddering wracking through Liam’s warm body every time he takes in a deep breath. And it’s heart breaking, really.

 

“Everything is going to be okay,” _I hope_ which he doesn’t add. His voice is brittle and it cracks at the end when Liam cuddles up to him more and he tightens the grip on him, tears are prickling at the corner of his eyes because maybe, Liam believes him. And he really does hope that everything will be okay after this and _this_ won’t become a regular thing, it already happened twice and Harry is tired.

 

The first time it happened, Liam was pregnant and checked into the hospital. He apparently wasn’t eating nor sleeping correctly and it broke Harry’s heart even more when he was the one to find his best mate laying on the kitchen floor in his own blood from passing out. That was not how he wanted to see his friend from not seeing him in weeks because Zayn and him were not on good terms—Harry wanted to throw a baby shower for Liam as a surprise and decided to let Zayn on about his idea and of course Zayn thought it wasn’t necessary and shut it down just because Harry suggested it before him; they soon after got into this big brawl throwing harsh words and it ended in Zayn forbidding Harry to ever step back into his house or around Liam again.

 

Harry and Zayn had never really seen eye to eye since Secondary school, when Liam started dating Zayn Year 10 during football season; it was never like Harry hated Zayn from the beginning it gradually started as Zayn made Liam spend less time with him and told Liam that Harry was only his friend because he fancied him. Which was far from the truth, Harry never thought of Liam any thing more or less than a mate or an older brother he never had.

 

When the paramedics arrived to the house of the Malik’s, Harry made sure not to let Zayn into the back of the ambulance, he didn’t care if he was Liam’s husband or not it was his fault why Liam was heading to the hospital in the first place. He shoved the dumbfounded man back making him stumble back on his feet then Harry climbed in next to his mate as the Van accelerated down the street leaving Zayn standing there in the driveway.

 

And everything was all to fast for Zayn to process, because just that morning he swore Liam was fine, but then again he rushed urgently out of the house before he can taste a bite of the breakfast his husband made for him.

 

A string of profanities escaped past his mouth as he pulled the roots of his hair, how could he just let this happen? He couldn’t even remember how this could have gotten to the point where his husband had to be checked into the hospital because of _lack of sleep_ and _eating_? All he could think of is the baby, and then all the guilt came rushing in . . .  he stopped attending the checkups and supervising Liam’s parental vitamins, everything became about work; how were they suppose to take care of a child if one of them had stopped working? Zayn forgot about the amount of income he got because he had more than enough to support a family of fifteen plus more.

 

He paced up and down the entrance of their home, before he grabbed his car keys and coat. He broke most of the laws just to get to the hospital Liam was emitted in to, without asking at the front desk, he frantically scrambled down the halls searching into room after room until he spotted Harry; his was sitting on the floor, back hunched over with his head between his knees, anyone could tell the boy was sobbing by the way his body was shuddering.

 

“What are they doing to him?!” Zayn gritted through clenched teeth. The window of the room was blocked off and the door was locked.

 

He stood in front of Harry’s body, fuming. Mad at Harry, mad at himself and just generally mad at the world.

 

“You shouldn’t be here! Do you realize you’re the reason he’s here?! Why he had a miscarriage! How could you do this to him, Zayn?” Harry roared through sobs, voice wet and hoarse. Face stained red and nose stuffed with snot.

 

“You promised to watch him and to make sure he was safe! He hasn’t eaten a proper meal for weeks; his stress level is sky high! How could you not have notice?! Seriously, he could have _died_! Fuck, Zayn you’re real idiotic especially for some big time fucking CEO!”

 

Now Harry was in Zayn's face, there wasn’t much of a height different between them; just Harry stood an inch or two taller. They were both fuming, seeing red as both men stood chest to chest in the hospital corridor.

 

“Why the fuck were you at my house? Didn’t I tell to stay away from my family?”

 

“The hell I care about you telling me anything! You almost killed my best mate! When it involves Liam, what you have to say is irrelevant. They go through one ear and come out the next.”

 

“He doesn't kiss me anymore,” Liam says softly burying his face in the warmth of Harry’s neck. Tears are pushing their way out of his eyes again, and he just can’t help them as he thinks of the last time his husband actually kissed him; he can’t even remember the date, or month but he remembers the fond in Zayn’s eyes and the way his tongue was bitten between his teeth, he even remembers being embarrassed because they were in public, but it didn’t stop Zayn from kisses his mouth cherry red and raw.

 

‘I don't want to lose my husband, Harry.” He says through a humourless chuckle as he swallows down the choking sob that wants to escape. The thought makes him sick, so sick that his stomach churns and he starts to gag up; jumping out of his friend’s lap and grabs the trash can underneath the sink and pukes up last night's dinner.

 

Harry gets down and rubs soothingly up and down Liam's back as he empties out his stomach. When he hears keys and the knob jiggle his vision goes red and he sprints up on his feet and marches his way out to meet Zayn. Because no way in hell, is he going to stand there and let a bloke break his best mate’s heart in front of him.

 

Before Liam can even protest or pull Harry back and tell him that it's not even worth it, Harry is already down the hall and another hurl is escaping him, painfully as tears roll half way down his cheeks into the trash can along with the puke.

** Z **

 

It all happens so fast. Instead of letting his assistant, Josie get him coffee he decides to get it himself—since she always puts to much sugar for his liking. Then it’s a little innocent conversation with one of the workers, Tristan about how the day is going—it is stressful for Zayn and _eh_ for Tristan. They then bump shoulders and nudge fingers going in for the sugar then next thing, is Tristan’s turning over touching noses with his boss, leaning in and they’re kissing. It’s no surprise though. The thought of Liam floods his mind, smiling and shying away cutely but even that doesn’t make Zayn want pull away.

 

He forces his mouth ferociously against Tristan’s, not liking the way that it moves in sync with his. When he’s kissing Liam, it’s a whole different aspect, it’s like high school all over again because till this day Liam is still inexperienced with kissing and still blushes crimson during sex or when Zayn ogles him when his naked.

 

But he grabs Tristan’s hips and drags him into his body until their groins are rubbing together. And even that doesn’t feel right. He’s panting now, trying to get his tongue into Zayn’s mouth but he’s not having it while trailing his cool hands up into Zayn’s fitted suit.

 

“Stop,” he demands, “you know I have a husband?”

****

_I have a husband._

_A husband,_

_Husband . . ._

 

The words swirl around his brain, images of Liam invading every corner of his mind.

_Stop_. He yells at himself because for heaven’s sakes he has a _husband_ and he’s probably at home cleaning or cooking or sleeping and Zayn is here making out with one of his employees. He shoves Tristan back on the counter and takes three steps back shaking his head—“I have a fucking husband!” He roars not at Tristan precisely but more to himself.

 

Tristan hums nodding, strides to Zayn and clutching his fist into his boss’ suit jacket, biting his bottom lip seductively before pressing his warm mouth to Zayn’s left ear. “So what? I can keep a secret.” His voice is hot, bone-shuddering, and honey dripping slow.

****

_Fuck_. “Follow me.” He says and beckons the lad with his finger. The coffees long forgotten as Zayn leads them both to his office he lets Tristan enter first then kicks the thick wooden door shut, he closes the blinds around the glass of his office before sitting down in his chair and tell the eager looking lad to come.

 

The first time Zayn had sex in his office was when he first bought the company. Everybody was so proud of him, Liam was proud especially, kept telling him about his fantasies about getting fucked against the large window or the desk, maybe a blow-job underneath the table while he was in a video conference meeting. But Zayn didn’t actually think Liam meant it; he was too innocent, too vanilla to be into the kinky fuckery.

 

About two months later, Zayn finally had half his paperwork sorted and was ready to go home early on a Wednesday night. His office phone rang then his mobile dinged, he contemplated but opted for the latter as he grabbed his mobile and opened the text message from his husband.

****

_Areeee u stillll @ worrrrk babe?_

 

Before he had the time to reply that he was leaving soon someone knocked the door softly, he groaned and rolled his eyes to nuisance of the bother on the other side. He sighed and called out to them to come in. The fewer problems tonight the earlier he could go home.

 

“Why do you sound so annoyed, love?” Liam raised a brow, a blush covering his cheeks as he slipped through and shut the door fast behind him, he didn’t need nor want any distractions. “Not happy to see me?” He pouted teasingly still not noticing the shocked expression across Zayn's features.

 

When he finally looked up to see the look his husband was giving him, it seemed between annoyed and amused but Liam couldn’t help but feel asinine underneath the stare. Especially when he was wearing a trench coat that he thought was a good idea to wear; he wanted to feel like those slutty mistresses in movies, with only his birthday suit on underneath. He felt goose bumps rising in anticipation when Zayn pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes darkened when he beckoned Liam over.

 

“Of course, what are you doing here,” he lowly asked voice deep and seductive.

 

A shiver lapped through the bones in Liam’s body, who knew words could turn him on so much. He stood in front of his husband, knocking their knees together with a shy smirk, Zayn lolled his head back on the headrest of his chair, trailing his warm hands up the trench coat groping and scraping his nails on Liam’s thighs to his ass.

 

He gasped when Zayn yanked on the blue silk panties he forced Harry to buy for him because he was way to embarrassed to walk into _naughty girl_ , but when he seen the panties on a manikin as he walked by it one day he knew he had to have them.

 

He wiggled coquettishly in the palms of Zayn’s hands, blushing madly. The man under him raised a brow, removing his hands to slowly unbutton the coat, the item slipped off Liam’s body without a struggle; standing there under the libidinous glaze of his husband made him tingle all over.

 

“What are you playing at, Mr Malik?”

 

“Oh, nothing, Mr Malik; I just wanted to surprise my oh-so hardworking husband at work.”

 

He licked his lips some pulled Liam down for an unchaste, tantalizing kiss that had the boy moaning and writhing in the need of climbing into Zayn’s lap and striding him. He whined as Zayn’s tongue invaded his mouth greedily and his hands gripped his behind and placed him in his lap.

 

He pressed kisses around Liam’s jaw up to his ear and took his lobe between his teeth, “a definite surprise. . .what’s your plan?” he murmured lowly feeling Liam’s back arched and his erection press more and more into his lower abdomen.

 

“Anything you want,” Liam groaned grinding for friction and when Zayn’s eyes lit up but darken with salacious then thrusted  upwards and tangled his fingers into the little strands at the back of Liam’s head and pulled back teasingly hard to suck and nip pretty, red bruises.

 

“Ah!” He hummed deep in his throat when Zayn pushed his thighs wider then tugged on the soft fabric of the panties. “Please,” he pleaded grinding harder with thrill and frustration until Zayn held him down to stop.

 

“Still and open your eyes, I want you to look.”

 

Liam’s struggled to open his eyes but when he did, his pulse quickened and breath slowed. Just by touching he was already hot, bothered and more than ready—he wanted to squirm. Zayn held Liam’s hands behind his back with one hand as he scraped his teeth down his flushed sternum to one of his erected nipples and he tried his hardest not to squirm when Zayn twirled his skilful tongue around his bud and nipped at it, but his groin twitched and his head thrown back while moaning from the sweet, sweet tantalizing torture.

 

Moving on to the bereft nipple that he suckled hard on, Zayn stuck his thumb into Liam’s mouth for a distraction; as much as he wanted the whole office to hear him pleasuring his husband he wanted this to go on fast so he could get home and take him more. “Still baby,” he whispered and the writhing boy nodded then he got back to nipping and sucking.

 

“Please,” he groaned from around Zayn’s thumb, he complied trailing the same thumb to Liam’s rim and circled it slowly. “’M ready,” he moaned out breathlessly, sinking down when Zayn curled his thumb in.

 

He smirked, “couldn’t wait, needy little cock slut aren’t ya?” He jerked his thumb deeper, making Liam’s back arch and thighs quiver.

 

“Only for you,”

 

Kissing where Liam’s heart was thumping rapidly he possessively growled out, “ _mine_.”

 

“I’m yours, always.”

 

Zayn quickly lifted up Liam to pull down his pants, he removed his finger and dragged his husband head down to press their mouths as he hastily impaled him, and Liam’s made a guttural noise from his throat. They stayed still, Zayn kissing all over his husband collarbone and neck soothingly; Liam savouring up the burning but oh-so delicious sensation of the stretch.

 

But he couldn’t wait, he started to move. _Up and down_ , slowly, straining against the hold Zayn still had on his wrists, he groaned loudly sinking down to the base just to rise back up and repeat. He loved it, it felt even better in this position, and it was almost overwhelming. Then Zayn let go of his hands and gripped his arse to control him, lifting him up to thrust upward just to sink him down again, and it was head-twisting, stomach clenching good at his pace.

 

“Ah!” He moaned out, tightening around Zayn as his body started to shake.

 

“Let go, baby,” and he did in the lovely blue silk panties; head thrown back, mouth ajar with Zayn’s name rolling out and back so arched it ached.

 

Zayn came minutes later, thrusting harder, deeper with longer strokes.

 

 

 

He pushes Tristan off his lap, shooting up from his chair processing what he’s really doing; he cannot be doing this right now. He looks down at Tristan who’s looking up at him dumbfounded and hazy with his lips all swollen and cherry red, his dress shirt halfway unbuttoned showing off his toned chest and Zayn shakes his head; reaching for his things before dashing out of his office.

 

Shoulder brushing everyone in his way inadvertently, he jabs at the lift button impatiently, he dares not to look up to his abashment; he can already hear the whole top half of the office gossiping even though he can fire all of them in a heartbeat or a blink of an eye. When the lift comes he quickly rushes inside when he hears his assistant calling for him, he doesn’t look up he heads towards his car and wastes no time accelerating down the street.

 

He quickly wipes his mouth and runs his fingers through his hair a few times, he retrieves his wedding band from his pocket and slips it on before unlocking the house door. He doesn’t here Liam in the kitchen as he discreetly toes off his shoes and hangs up his coat and briefcase in the closet.

 

“You really got some nerve.”

 

And that’s definitely not Liam’s voice, when he raises his head he meets a fuming Harry Styles which gets him heated because why the fuck is he in Zayn’s house.

 

“You really don’t listen do you,” he seethes out, stalking towards him but Harry doesn’t budge.

 

“Apparently so, and certainly not when my mate rings me bawling because he doesn’t know what he had done to make his husband so cold towards him.” He backfires and Zayn goes rigid, “Liam isn’t your five minute cigarette break, you can’t light him up then put him out.” Harry scowls eyes dark and narrowed with his fists clenching by his sides, he can still hear Liam sobbing from the bathroom, choking and hiccupping.

 

“Why do you keep doing this to him? He does nothing but love you and you go around treating him like shit-” Harry spats before a fist collides with one of his cheeks, snapping it to the side, blood fills his mouth and there’s a dull ache now.

 

Both men stare at each other with full blown hatred then their fighting, punches being thrown and blood oozing out from both of their mouths and knuckles. Liam comes walking out after multiple clashes and hard thumping following by groans; he sees his best mate and husband brawling on the floor, Zayn on top of Harry. Zayn has Harry’s shirt curled in his fist throwing down punching in his face as Harry throttling his neck so tight that Zayn is almost purple-blue with his veins prominent than ever.

 

He’s still weak from puking out his lungs; the stale taste is swirling around in his mouth along with the toothpaste that did absolutely nothing to prevent it. His head is also spinning and his eyes are stinging from all the sobbing, he doubles over for a minute because he seems so sore all over—probably from the all that glass he kneeled in earlier.

 

“Stop! The fuck is wrong with you guys!” Liam screams at them, dragging Zayn by his collar off of Harry. He crashes to the floor with a thump still glaring daggers, jaw and right cheek swelling with a bruise covering half of his face. “This shite has been going way to long, what the bloody hell are you lots fighting for?” He looks between the two men and they both turn their heads downwards.

 

“Get him out of my house, Liam.” He says admonishingly, eyes still dark even when their swelled half shut.

 

“You guys are both very important to me—” his voice breaks and he has to close his eyes, “—I just want you guys to get along, don’t you think this feud between you guys been going on to long? Seriously, since tenth year!” He shouts frustratingly now, blood rushing up his neck and veins making their appearance.

 

“Get him the fuck out of my house or I’m leaving, and I won’t be coming back!”

 

Liam turns to Harry as he’s already staring at him. He tilts his head back, waiting for his best friend to choose his husband and kick him out. And it’s a heartbreaking because Harry knows Liam answer, so he saves him the trouble and gets up, spitting out the blood onto their hardwood floors before grabbing his jacket. He looks up at Liam with a bitter laugh, and ignores the tears and the wobbly bottom lip then shakes his head.

 

“Just remember when you need someone, Li, _don’t_ call me. Because this _will_ happen again, he _will_ fuck up again, and maybe I won’t be there to be that leaning shoulder you need.” He shakes his head again then walks out of Zayn and Liam’s front door.

 

It takes everything in Liam not to run out and start apologizing, he wants too then he looks over at Zayn that has that hard glare, he bends over and takes his chin in his hand to look over the bruises. Zayn turns his chin and slaps away at Liam’s hand; he winces and slowly backs away, tears prickling at his eyes again. Liam wants to curl into himself and cry, he has never had to choose between Zayn and Harry before, never thought it’ll come to that; any and every person can tell just by staying in a room with the two for five second could sense the hatred. Liam, till this day doesn’t know what had brought it up, or didn’t know it’ll last this long.

 

Damn it, it’s nearly ten going on years and now his friendship with Harry is finish in a matter of seconds, because _until death do us part_ , and even then their marriage is basically falling apart because never has Zayn ever made him choose or threaten to leave.

 

“Don't let him back into my house.” He growls, getting up from the floor and harshly shoulder bumping Liam to go into their room. Zayn loosens his ties and wipes the corner of his mouth, scoffing when he hears Liam sniffing, he shakes his head itching to turn back but he doesn’t—really wants too but he’s to mad, he’ll probably say things he’ll mean (and doesn’t) but way to hurtful to say out loud.

 

He takes out his phone and debates on calling his mum or Anthony. He cannot stay in this house tonight, if he does, he knows a fight will happen and that’s the last thing he needs right now—an argument to erupt between him and Liam, after an exhausting day.

 

 He drags out one of his large suitcases from the closet and throws on the bed, he grabs whatever he can from his drawers and yanks down random work suits from their hangers; he knows Liam will be entering the room soon so he quickly dials Ant’s number letting it ring out on speaker.

 

“Bro! Long time I haven’t heard from you, what’s up?” Ant greets way too cheerily for his liking as he rolls his eyes, and suppresses an annoyed groan.

 

“I can crash at your place for a couple of nights?”

 

Ant laughs, loud and obnoxiously, “you and Liam having trouble again? Well it wouldn’t be the first.”

 

Now Zayn groans annoyed, “things just been rough, I need a few nights without fighting with him.” He says closing up the suitcase not noticing that Liam has come into the room, standing behind him as he and Ant talk.

 

“Leaving huh?”

 

Zayn hangs up the phone abruptly and throws it on the bed before turning and facing his husband.

 

“Yes. But just for a few days so I can clear my head.”

 

“Why can’t you clear your head here?” Liam pushes, “we didn’t even have a fight yet and you’re already running away.”

 

“You let him in my home when I said I didn’t want him here, _ever_.”

 

Liam face contorts into a glare as his eyes narrow and right brow raises. “It’s my home too, remember? Or because you pay for it—it’s only yours?” He hums before his voice cracks at the end but from the strain in throat from crying minutes ago.

 

“Do not fucking start this Liam. It’s been a gruelling day.” He snaps sharply, dragging his suitcase off the bed and letting it fall recklessly on the ground. He cards through his hair stressfully, breaking the harsh eye contact.

 

Liam laughs humourlessly, yanking Zayn around by his sleeve; he pulls back scowling, almost whipping Liam in the face but misses by a few inching. Zayn notices but doesn’t say a word as Liam gasps, he pops up the handle of the suitcase and knocks his shoulders into the other boy’s shoulder roughly.

 

“At least tell me when you’re coming back, it is going to be weeks like last time? Or like the time you didn't come home for two and half months without a call or a text?”

 

Zayn suppresses a shrug, “I don't know. . .”

 

Liam stares at the back of his husband’s, he can’t even look him in the eyes, that what’s hurts the most. . . but he sucks it up and tries not to over think as he sighs barely audibly and nods.

 

“At least call, okay?”

** L **

 

He can’t stay in the house, it’s deafeningly quiet and it seems larger that it’s normally is. It’s literally been only two days but feels longer than that and everything just—it’s different, it’s not homey, and it’s cold and lonely. Harry has rejected all his calls, not even letting ring to voicemail, he cuts it off mid through second ring, he tries to call Louis too and even him is ignoring Liam, Zayn hasn’t called either which is not surprising.

 

“Mum. . .” He whispers following a sigh, he hasn’t spoken to his mum in more than five months. He never really has the energy to hear her bicker about Zayn.

 

Don’t get the wrong idea, Karen loves Zayn always has but from the incident that left Liam in the hospital and losing the baby, she built up a bit of hatred towards Zayn when she found out.

 

“Oh, Liam,” she coos, “how good it is to hear your voice again.”

 

He clears his throat as he feels it tightens, “how are you and dad doing? Well, I hope,” he chuckles as he sits up more on the bed so his back is flushed against the bedpost.

 

“Of course, darling and how have you been? You sound poorly, dear.”

 

“Feeling a bit homesick, miss you a lot,” he fixes his mobile between his shoulder and ear as he wipes underneath his eyes.

 

And he really is, he misses his home town, his old bedroom with the double sized bed and the fluffy, white duvet, he even misses the scent, the faint smell of cinnamon and lavender Febreeze. He misses his mum cooking and his dad rowdy, over told childhood stories, and then he really misses his sisters telling him to get out of their room because he’s too nosy.

 

“I know baby, when you have time come visit, your father won’t admit but he’s missing you terribly, Ruth isn’t a good fisher and Nicola is busy with baby Aidan to visit enough.”

 

“Will it be alright if I came for a couple of days?”

 

Karen squeals in glee and she tells him that it’s more than alright. He talks for a bit more before letting his mum go, Liam starts packing right away, he goes for a week of clothing, and he still has clothes over at his parents’ house for emergencies.

 

He gets into his black _Mustang_ that Zayn had gotten him for his birthday two years ago, Liam opts for taking the Train to Wolverhampton than the car, and he doubts he brought enough money for gas since his car tank is only half full.

 

The train ride is soothing, surprisingly. His head is clear from his taunting thoughts as he leans against the window, no one is sitting beside him either; there are not many people on today. When he gets to his destination, his mum is waiting on the deck, waving her hands in the air madly as she yelps out Liam’s name jubilantly.

 

A wide, cheek burning, smile spreads across Liam’s face when he finally embraces his mum in his arms. His bags on the ground; long forgotten as they hug for dear life. Tears form the brim of Liam’s eyes but they don’t fall and they’re definitely not from sadness.

 

“Oh sweetie, you look worst than you sound, are you not eating properly?” She says when she pushes him out in arms length.

 

“I’m just stressed. But I’m fine, I just need a break.”

 

-

** L **

 

His hand was shaking when he slowly walked up the pathway of the Malik’s household, his tie felt a bit to tight around his neck and his hands were sweating as he clutched onto the white Lilies he had brought for Zayn’s mum, his tongue heavy in his mouth when he got up to the door, he swallowed thickly. Meeting your boyfriend’s parents was more intimidating then Liam ever thought, he felt rather asinine in a suit and what made it worst was when he went to the barber’s to get a bit of a trim and they basically left patches in his hair; he wouldn’t admit it but he cried until he sister Nicola buzzed it off and it didn’t look all that horrid.

 

He glanced back to see his mum still parked at the sidewalk, all encouraging smiles with her small thumbs in the air in a way that said _good luck_! He smiled close-lipped, feeling his heart pound hollower in his chest and he wanted to run back into the car and cancel—he felt sick, tummy hurting, would be his excuse if Zayn called.

 

But he didn’t, he knocked on the door twice and waited with a lump in his throat. He could here shuffling and voices—

 

“Don’t open the door mum!” It was Zayn, “baba stay in the living room, you’re going scare him!”

 

Then the door yanked open revealing Zayn in khakis, a plain white t-shirt with mix match socks—one black and the next grey. Liam shifted on his feet, shyly smiling as a blush reddened over his cheeks, Zayn laughed a bit basically feeling the anxiety radiating off his boyfriend as he quickly leaned in a planted a sweet, assuring kiss on his mouth.

 

“Hey. You’re really nervous.”

 

Liam pulled on his collar that was getting ridiculously tight around his neck and nodded because nervous was a bloody understatement, he was shitting himself. He felt like he was going to throw up no matter how many times Zayn told him that his parent were going to love him, how many times his mum informed how amazing he was on their way. And it wasn’t like; he thought Zayn’s family was going to dislike him it was he didn’t want to _disappoint_. Zayn told him all the things he tells his parent about him and it was quite overwhelming, because he knew what his boyfriend was like, dating him for six months, he over-exaggerated everything he loved or was really into.

 

“I am. ’M a mess, I can’t breath and I look bloody daft!”

 

“You don’t mate, you look sick and I love the cut, makes you look like a bad man.”

 

Liam cautiously ran his fingers over the little hairs not use to not feeling unruly curls. “They left patches and Nic had to cut it all off.” He said and Zayn laughed scratching at his boyfriend’s scalp playfully, making Liam push into his palm.

 

“Let’s go inside, mum wants to meet you badly, and so does baba.”

 

Liam nodded, swallowing the lump before it could form, he looked back to see his mum no longing parked at the sidewalk then Zayn grabbed his hand that wasn’t clutching the Lilies and relaxed a bit when Zayn pressed his mouth to the side of his face and whispered _everything's going to be ace, they already love you_. And pulled him quickly inside before Liam can pull back away and ask for another minute breather.

 

“He might look like he’s angry but that’s usually his happy face,” Zayn laughed before dragging him into the living room where his family were all sitting around.

 

And Liam kept his head down as he could feel eyes lift up to look at him, he could see all of Zayn’s sisters, Doniya the oldest on sitting beside Yaser, Zayn’s baba and Waliyah the second youngest and Safaa the baby on the floor smirking at him. Zayn’s mum was the one to break the awkwardness, telling Liam to have seat and that dinner would be ready soon.

 

He looked up to smile at her and offered the flower he spent hours trying to pick out to her as she took them with a warm, wholehearted smile, “thank you, darling, they’re lovely.”

 

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Malik, Zayn told me they were your favourite.” He replied timidly, cheeks reddening as he made a horrible mistake by glancing around and seeing Yaser staring at him impassively, he cowers into himself and made Zayn guide him to the couch where his mum was sitting on.

 

Luckily Trisha caught onto Yaser’s stare and ushered him into the kitchen with her to check on dinner, and fuck, Liam couldn’t breathe with the dark, amber eyes that resembled Zayn so much staring so intensely at him. Probably judging him, asking himself why his son couldn’t pick a better boy to date, He sighed, leaning back into the couch as Zayn conversed with his sister.

 

 “You okay, Babe?” Zayn asked leaning over and pressing his warm mouth to Liam’s ear, he swallowed but nodded as he felt sweat gathering on the back of his neck.

 

“I can feel you shaking Li, are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Liam shook his head, a thick lump forming in his throat as he tried gulping it down, his palms were clammy and the look on Zayn’s father’s face pictured clearly into his mind as he looked back behind him toward the kitchen but you couldn’t see what was going on but he could hear the faint mumbling of Zayn’s parents. They don’t approve, Liam wasn’t good enough and fuck, he wanted to perfect.

 

“I need to go—I’m sorry, but this was a very bad idea—I think we should—I mean I can’t do this. . .” Liam rushed out, eyes burning with tears as he blinked them away, he quickly got up from the couch as he roughly tugged on his tight collar.

 

He knew all of Zayn’s sisters eyes were on him, he was causing a scene and probably embarrassing Zayn—which was neither of the things he wanted to do today. He spent hours going over perfect scenarios on how this dinner was going to be like, how Zayn’s mum would spill every embarrassing childhood story of Zayn and him and Zayn’s dad would chat over footie knowing Zayn hated it.

  
But tears are fattened at the brim of his eyes as he rushed to the entrance to get his shoes on—

 

“He makes Zayn happy, at least show some respect,” he heard Zayn’s mum say as he passed the kitchen.

 

“He’ll get bored of that boy, he’s too nice, I know my son’s type—and he’s not it.”

 

And if that wasn’t it to make the tears come pouring out of Liam’s eyes as he shoved his feet into his shoes, and he swallowed down the sob that wanted to come out when his hand caught onto the door knob and yanked it open then he was out on the sidewalk with blurry, wet, irritated eyes.

 

“What the hell, Li?” it was Zayn when a pair of arms wrapped securely around his waist and he was being tugged into someone’s chest.

 

“I’m sorry—I wanted today to be perfect—” he finally let that sob out, wracking through his body as he fell slack into his boyfriend’s embrace.

 

“Li look at me, babe, seriously it’s okay the day isn’t over, and it can still be perfect.” Zayn reassured as he held Liam arm length apart and ducked down to meet Liam’s eyes as he kept his head down.

 

He shook his head, “It can’t be! Your dad doesn’t like me, Zayn. I’m not your type; you’ll be bored of me soon.”

 

“No I won’t. I love you, Liam.”

 

Tears were pooling around the brim of Liam’s eyes again, as he shook from Zayn’s arms to back away.

 

“We should take a break, just for a while I guess, you can date other people if you want but…”  before finishing his sentence making the words die down in his throat he was walking backwards down the street, Zayn kept his eyes on him, watching Liam’s every more before he dashed out of sight.

 

-

It’s weird but not uncomfortable for Liam to be back in his old neighbourhood, where he spent all twenty-three years of his life. His old street still looks exactly the same, the same potholes in the road that Liam use to love back when he was a kid riding in the back of his dad’s truck still there and the old picket fence that his dad was suppose to repaint still cracked and chipped but Liam can breath properly and his heart doesn’t feel all that heavy.

 

He greets with a wave and genuine smile towards Janet, their neighbour, a sweet but grumpy old lady when he walks up the driveway of his parents’ house, Karen steadily on his heel.

 

“Go and settle in, I’ll make tea,” she tells Liam with a pat to his thin cheeks and softly huffs, “. . . by the time you leave you’ll be fattened up,” she sighs again then beelines to the kitchen and Liam face falls in a sad frown when his raises a hand to his face and pokes the skin lessening on his cheeks.

 

He drops his bags by his feet immediately when he enters his old bedroom, he barely hears the bags hit the floor as the wave of nostalgia washes over him like an avalanche. All his old comics, action figures and movies never touched from his old drawer, his posters still taped to the wall and his single-sized bed still has the batman bed sheets he left on them three years ago.

 

And it’s awful that he hasn’t been back to Wolverhampton in so long, without an excuse why he couldn’t visit either, has been promising his mum for a while also but he just couldn’t. Not with all that’s been happening in his life back in London.

 

Tears prickle the brim of his eyes when he falls face first into his bed; it even smells the same like soft lavender. He buries his nose into the pillow he’s cradling to his chest and doesn’t hold back the tears he’s forcing back.

 

-

The first time he had someone in his bedroom other than his family and Harry, is when Zayn and him started to hang out, it was somewhere near one o’clock at night he was underneath his sheets with a flashlight reading a book he got so caught up in. There was a small bang at his window like a small rock has been thrown to it.

 

“Liam,” he heard straight after the object hit the glass; he let out the breath he was holding in when he recognized the voice. “Come on, Li, come to the window.”

 

He rolled out of his bed and strolled to the window lifting it up immediately, he looked out, putting half of his upper body out to actually see Zayn standing there looking up at him. “Are you crazy? Do you realize the time?” he screeched and Zayn chuckled, “no seriously, how did you get here?”

 

“I snuck out because I couldn’t sleep.” He said a smug grin invaded his mouth. “Come outside, it’s so nice let’s go for a walk, yeah?”

 

“You’re mad, Zayn. If my mum new I left I’ll be dead.”

 

“Then don’t let her know. Don’t chicken out on me Liam, I came all this way for _you_.”

 

That made Liam blush really hard, red covering his whole face and zayn knew from right then he had Liam. They weren’t together but they both knew they were more than just friends. Liam bit his lip, _okay_ on the tip of his tongue as he looked down at Zayn’s hopeful expression.

 

“I want too Zayn, I do but what if you just come up here instead? And you can leave early in the morning or something.”

 

“I’ll come up if you promise that we’ll make out and I can touch your ass.”

 

Without a second thought, “yes” slipped off Liam’s tongue embarrassingly fast and another coat of red covered his cheeks.

 

They didn’t end up sleeping that night; Liam situated on Zayn’s lap as his hands grip and tugs the short black locks at the back of Zayn’s head as they made out until both of their mouths were puffy and cherry red. And as promised Zayn’s hands didn’t once leave Liam’s ass,  squeezing and spanking just tease and get moans out of the younger boy’s mouth, it was beyond sinful, the way his mouth slacked open against Zayn’s and how his body shuddered against him when he nibbled on his plumped bottom lip.

 

-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the super duper long wait but wait no more the chapter is here :)

** Z **

 

He doesn’t think of Liam when he fucks into the guy he can’t remember the name of in the back of his Range Rover or the time he spread Michael one of his employee’s out on his and Liam’s bed and eats him out before sending him on his way with a small kiss on his lips. He doesn’t but he cries the morning after in one of Liam’s shirts as he watches their wedding videos and thinks over where everything went wrong and why he couldn’t still be in love with this guy that gives him and supports him through everything.

 

He also doesn’t think about calling Liam either just because he knows he’ll break down, apologize for something he does not regret, they’ll make up Liam will come home from wherever he is and their toxic relationship would continue. But fuck, he misses him so much, even though they’re not the same people when they first fell in love and they can feel the once strong, passionate love between them fading away but its hard being away from each other – suffocating to be frank. It’s even harder coming home to an empty place you once called home and not seeing your partner waiting for you; not being able to hold on to something familiar even if it’s cold. But still, he’s refusing to dial Liam’s number and continue to lead him on when their relationship is heartbreakingly over.

 

Zayn gets sloshed one night, his brain hazy and his bloodstream is flowing with shots on shots of hard Whiskey, his words are jumbled and slurred when he calls Harry at two in the morning. They don’t fight, not even a small bicker which is unusual, he asks him if he seen Liam or knows where he is at least – he needs to know that he’s _at least_ safe. Harry doesn’t and a tiny rush of guilt invades his stomach. He ends up driving to the expensive pub where Zayn is and brings him home.

 

He sobs loud and drunkenly in the backseat of Harry’s car and almost dials Liam’s number then.

 

-

 

Ant forces Zayn out to get fresh air after watching him sulk for days upon days in his flat because he house doesn’t smell of Liam anymore, instead it reeks of stale liquor and one night stands. He meets this bloke, tall, dorky; giggly with a boyish face that almost reminds him of high school Liam – but with skin like smooth dark chocolate and a head full of short locs that Zayn gets to tug on when the bloke is on his knees in the toilets. He has fun, loads actually and he doesn’t think of how much he’s going to regret this in the morning.

 

He gets a _hi_ _I’m at my parents house if ur wondering x love you_ text out of the blue when he’s at work when he was so close of forgetting the way Liam’s skin feels underneath his fingertips or the way his laugh sounds. He ignores the message and turns off his phone, he can’t concentrate anymore his mouth drying for a cigarette or five. Zayn ends up smoking half the box of cigs he saves for absolute emergencies hidden deep in his desk.

 

Liam doesn’t text back or tries to contact Zayn again and he’s happy to extend.

 

Harry comes around; sad looking with bags underneath his eyes Zayn lets him in and offers a cup. They don’t talk for hours until both of them sputters out genuine sorry-s in unison after sitting on the settee for so long, they burst out in a hearty guffaw, both boy’s falling back on the couch as their heads lolls back. “Liam would’ve killed to see us make up like this.” Zayn slips out as his voice trails off as soon as the words escape.

 

“Yeah he would.” Harry agrees fiddling around with his ring on his finger, “just imagine though, Liam would bloody love this, yeah?”

 

Zayn swallows thickly, “yeah, a field day he’ll have, I can feel the group hug he would have us in right now.”

 

Harry smiles fades out as awkward silence falls around them again. He harrumphs before saying, “um, have you heard from Liam since he like. You know . . . left?”

 

“He messaged me once but I was really busy and I forgot to get back with him,” he lies through his teeth and he doesn’t feel contrite about lying as he sees Harry nod his head.

 

He doesn’t say anything for a while, “did he mention when he’s coming back?”

 

Zayn shakes his head truthfully.

 

-

 

He shivered under the light trace of Liam’s finger drawing patterns on his tattooed chest. They lie tangled up into each other as the cool midnight air dances over their sweaty bodies –

 

 

 “I like this; it’s nice just laying here with you.”

 

 

Zayn hummed agreeing letting his eyes flutter open as he looked down at Liam where his head was placed on his shoulders. He pressed his mouth of top of the younger boy’s head as he pulled him closer, Liam smiled more to himself as he felt all the love radiating around him from Zayn.

 

 

They had just moved into their first apartment together five months before, deciding quickly and against their parents’ approval that it’s way to fast to be moving in together; but they both got accepted into two separate Universities and they both being two love-sick lads thought it’d be best if they just live in one flat so even when they don’t have time to see each other they would no matter what.

 

Even though, both of their families aren’t ecstatic about the whole idea they supported it seventy percent and that was all Liam and Zayn wanted even if it would be either the worst or best idea they ever came up with.

 

“It feels better knowing I’m laying here not only with my best friend but with my fiancé.”

 

Liam laughed, his eyes going all crinkling at the corners and his cheeks rising into a rose petal pink as he nodded. He lifted up his head to connect his mouth with Zayn’s, it’s a soft, filled with passion and love kind of kiss that made Liam want to climb into his lap and kiss him harder and longer.

 

“How should we tell our parents we’re getting married?” he giggled on Zayn’s lips as he slowly rolled over to stride his now-fiancé, Zayn’s hands automatically went to Liam’s waist as he softly dented his fingertips into the skin. He laid his head on the older boy’s shoulder as his nose nuzzled deeply into the sweet scent of Zayn’s faint out cologne. “They’re gonna think we’re mad, babe. But like, who cares right?” 

 

“Yeah,” he breathed out happily, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest from contentment, it was like he could explode from all the joy he felt as he laid with his soon-to-be-husband.

 

Just thinking about the new chapter they were going to start with their life together had Zayn’s heart beating hundred times faster with anticipation. He held onto Liam’s waist a little tighter as he looked up to see the younger boy smiling down at him, his face going cute and squishy before he bent down and crashed their lips. It was a stilled kiss, one where it made their eyes flutter close on their own and their noses brush.

 

“Love you,” he mumbled hands creeping up to cup around Zayn’s cheeks, “so much. I love you so much that you can make me or break me and I’ll be okay with it.”

 

-

 

His stomach churns when he shoves the big, brown package into the mail box; he swallows the dryness in his throat and blinks back the tears in his eyes when he hears the _thump_ of the divorce package drop to the bottom. He stands there for a moment or two taking in stuttered breaths as a flow of wetness dribbles down his cheeks in a sort of relief because after weeks of having those files completed and burning a hole in his briefcase because he wasn’t ready to let go; it’s normal though, for anyone to go through when filing out a divorce, you never want to believe it’s actually happening – that it’s actually over; and there’ll always be that glint of hope that everything is going to be okay and you’ll wake up from a horrible dream with your partner in your arms that you still love. But it’s not a horrible dream to his dismay and he’s finally letting Liam go for the better of them both.

 

Zayn takes in another large inhale of relief, the words “it’s for the better” replays in his head like a mantra, as his heart feels heavier in his chest; he has to gulp down the sob that wants to escape as he backs away from the post box, he wipes away the tears awaiting at his chin with a shrug of his right shoulder.

 

Once he’s inside the car, there’s a overwhelming rush that hits him and his throat is closing up on him as more wetness trails down his swelled cheeks – he bother to wipe them away this time, just lets them dip off his chin onto his expensive grey _Armani_ suit. Zayn tell himself that this is good for the both of him and Liam, that when the divorce if final Liam will find someone to make him happy – happier than he could ever make him. They’ll watch over him and make sure there’s never frown on his beautiful face and just _love_ him the way he couldn’t.

 

Liam deserves that, all the shit Zayn put him through the last couple off months or years, Liam more than deserves it. Although, it’ll hurt more than anything in the world to see another person make the person you love so much happy.

 

-

 

He decides to start fresh, a clean plate, a whole new beginning when he wipes the last tears from his face he vowed himself he was going to shed. It’s a Tuesday morning, a little after ten o’clock when he rolls out of bed and strolls into the lavatory for a long, hot needed shower from the weeks of laying in bed moping and over-thinking – mostly wondering if Liam received the package and if so why hasn’t he called or came home yet. Maybe he signed the papers already and mailed them, not like Zayn would know if he got them back because he hasn’t left Liam’s side of the bed since he got home from the post box two weeks ago.

 

He peels off the white shirt that use to smell a lot like Liam but now it smells rank, a toxic stench that lingers on it and Zayn knows he’s going to have to toss the shirt away.

 

As the hot, steaming water beats down his sore, throbbing body, it’s like most of his “problems” are vanishing as he clears his head of all the negativity – not that Liam’s negativity but it’s better for him if he thought about other things like how his company is still on track; although, he hasn’t stepped foot inside his office in quite a few months. How his not-so-little-sister Waliyah got accepted into all five of the universities she applied to. His ammi and baba are doing fine when they called a couple of days ago to check up on him – because they heard about the divorce which Zayn thinks he called them on a whim when he was absolutely sloshed – but his baba informs him that his old bedroom is now a personal fitness space and his ammi might’ve spilled that Doniya might or might not be pregnant but the unique and beautiful glow to her skin nowadays says otherwise. She’s also engaged, nonstop showing off her gorgeous engagement ring proud and gracefully.

 

When he steps out of the tub into the foggy bathroom, dripping wet and in the nude he wipes a strip across the mirror to be faced with his worn out reflection. He still has the tiredness around his eyes but his skin isn’t as pale as it was when he entered the bathroom.

 

 

-

 

Zayn straightens out his shoulders and buffs out his chest in a confident way when he struts into the office. He clenches down on his teeth making the muscles in his jaw more prominent as his dark eyes roam the office turning the pity stares into scared ones as his employees scamper away frightened.

 

“Good morning, Mr. Malik, you look well.” Josie greets him with a cool welcoming back smile as she has a ton of files hugged to her chest.

 

Her heels click-clack down the hall as she tries to keep up with her boss, “thank you, Miss Josie, I feel refreshed and well. I hope the company wasn’t too much to handle while I was gone.”

 

She rushes to his side quickly when they make it to Zayn’s large private office doors, “no, it was perfect, we didn’t lose money or deals, and you actually have a meeting to close a deal in fifteen minutes with CEO Markham about that –”

 

Zayn quietly dismisses her with pointed eyes, but he softens when she nods stiffly, “uh, these need to be looked over and ready as soon as possible, Mr. Malik.” She hands over the stack of folders to him, he accepts them into his arms then shoos his assistant away.

 

He glances around the office; curious eyes that were once felt boring into his back are now downwards as he hears small chattering among his employees. He decides to ignore it, not to het heated at his workers trying to be nosy in his personal business. It was no secret what happened between him and Michael – who he fired when what they had did was flying all over the office and he had to lightly threaten the cost of Josie’s job of she didn’t inform him. It was like a game of broken telephone, rumour after rumour was being spread of the affair that occurred between his employee and himself.

 

Zayn’s trying to stay positive though, so he takes in a deep breath and enters his safe haven, it’s a large open spaced office with a wall filled with accomplishments and family photographs, and the next side of the office is all window that has the most beautiful view of the city. He shuts the door immediately, the gigantic, amber coloured wooden door slams close echoing a loud _bang!_ That has Zayn almost jumping in fright.

 

A big sigh leaves his mouth when he slumps down into the black, comfy leather seat as he recklessly scatters the files all over his desk with a scoff.

 

-

 

“Do you ever see us having a family soon?” Liam bit his bottom lip nervously, his stomach feeling heavy with worry as he watched his husband work; his desk was stack up with files to be filled out and signed for a new deal.

 

Zayn hand stopped mid-through his signature abruptly, he looked up to where his husband was standing awkwardly at the door, and he quickly beckoned Liam over with his index finger as an unreadable expression laid on his face. It made his heart race ten times faster in his chest and heat rise on his skin like fire.

 

He walked over to his where Zayn sat in his chair; he stood in front of him with a lump forming in his throat and ill at ease. Zayn tugged him a bit closer, his stomach faced directly in Zayn’s face as he planted his large, skinny fingers on Liam’s waist. His mind filled with what ifs . . . what if he didn’t want a child? What if it was to too early for them to be having kids yet? The endless amount of unanswered what ifs swirled his mind.

 

“I mean we haven’t talked about starting a family since high school, you remember what we wanted to name our first child?” Liam asked, bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

 

Zayn started to rub soothing circles over his hipbone, thumbs gazing his stomach ever so lightly; it made a shiver run down his entire body. He wondered if Zayn could see the change of his body, round cheeks becoming rounder or when he was shirtless could he see the toned stomach all soft.

 

But then, Zayn had been spending more of his time at the office than at home. It was a surprise when he got a call from Zayn to come over because he hadn’t seen him in a while.

 

Zayn lifted his head and smiled softly closed-lipped. “Yeah babe, Taylor we decided; but we’re not ready for a child yet.” He replied, “Work is more hectic with deals after deals, we need more time until we can even think about having a baby. When everything isn’t so busy and we can settle a bit, I’ll knock you up with all my babies.” He continued, pulling Liam a little closer until their knees bumped together and Zayn was close enough to press his lips to Liam’s abdomen.

 

His whole entire body froze, as soon as he felt the surprised pressure of his husband’s lips against his stomach. His eyes bugged out of his sockets and a gasp forced its way out of his mouth when he pulled back. Liam’s hand unconsciously rose to his belly, cupping under it though there was no bump to hold just yet. Since he came back to the doctor’s this morning all he had been doing was rubbing and holding his belly because, fuck, there was a life growing in there.

 

“What’s the matter, Li? Come back here.”

 

He shook his head; he couldn’t go to hi, not when he was keeping a secret as big as this. Tears started to build up in his eyes, the doctor told him he was going to start actually noticing the change in his emotions now that he knew he wasn’t sick with a virus but pregnant with a child. The tears rolled down his cheeks as he continued to shake his head at Zayn’s request.

 

Zayn immediately jumped up from his office chair right when he saw the first teardrop roll down Liam’s face. He face shown confusion but most of all concerned and worried for him, he didn’t understand what was happening but his husband was crying and the first thing he brain thought was to make sure he was alright. He grabbed him quickly to his chest before he could back away from his grasp, wrapping his slender arms around Liam’s torso and scratching his fingers soothing onto his scalp as Zayn felt Liam’s body rose with heavy breaths and came back in a shudder.

 

“Babe, please, if I’ve said anything to offend you I, in no way meant it.” He reassured hum, nuzzling him closer until his chin was on top of Liam’s shoulder.

 

“You said you didn’t want kids, Zayn.”

 

“Zayn pulled back but let his hands hold Liam out at arms length, “hey, I do. I want children with you, of course I do but not right now. We don’t have time for our little ones to be running around just yet.”

 

Liam sighed as more tears dragged down his rosy cheeks; he still hasn’t looked up to meet Zayn’s eyes yet. “But I’m ready; I’ve been so ready for a child, Zayn. And you’re never home, I see you once every week – if I’m lucky enough maybe twice. I’m bored at home all by myself when you’re here in the office.” He told him, finally lifting up his head for his watery eyes to meet Zayn’s unreadable ones.

 

“You think a child – that _neither_ of us is _ready_ for – will help you?” he retorted, a dry laugh followed after, “and don’t start that “you’re never home” bullshit, because quite frankly I’m the only one working to support the both of us.”

 

Liam’s throat clogged up as his eyes watered once again, it was like every time they had an argument Zayn would being up the fact that he doesn’t work, doesn’t contribute to the bills or anything really. But what Zayn always forgot was he told Liam to quit his job, because what he made in like a week was what Liam made in a year as a fireman.

 

He nodded more to himself than anything. “I know you’re the only one that supports up in the income department, you don’t have to throw it in my face all the bloody time, Zayn! I only asked if you wanted children because, fuck, I-I went to the doctors today because I was getting pains in my lower abdomen, I thought I was sick but I’m not, I’m pregnant!”

 

Before Zayn had time to react Liam continued what he was saying, “I didn’t expect your response to be like that. I’m fucking scared right now, I’m scared that you might not want me anymore or worst might not want anything to do with our baby.” His voice betrayed him by cracking at the end, he watched Zayn for the entire time and his expression stayed indefinable.

 

“We always use a condom and you’re supposed to be on the pill how the fuck is this possible?”

 

Zayn’s face softened, the blackness in his eyes going back to the welcoming brown. He pulled Liam back into his embrace; he fitted himself into Zayn’s side as his hand immediately goes to Liam stomach. It was nothing right now but it made a light – probably nervous – smile appear on his lips. “You want to keep it.” It didn’t come out as a question nor was it for Liam to answer; it was an out loud thought, because wow, he was having a child.

 

Without hesitation, Liam nodded his head vigorously, “we can make it work, I promise.”

 

-

 

** L **

 

He knows he shouldn’t call Harry especially like this, but he needs someone to talk too and he has never been that comfortable talking about his relationship to his parents knowing their situation with Zayn since the baby incident happened. He can call Ruth, he close enough to her than anyone but probably not with this situation either, also knowing she really loves Zayn she’ll probably have his head if she found out about their divorce.

 

(Which Liam likes to believe is a cruel joke)

 

So he waits with hid mobile to his ear, hands sweating tremendously as his heart beats down into his stomach. One ring, two rings, three rings and Liam’s breath hitches harshly in his throat when Harry’s voice comes softly through the receiver.

 

“Hullo?” his voice is tired, groggily as if he just woken up, but he doubts Harry was asleep midday.

 

He wants to laugh at how pathetic he’s being it’s like he’s always so weak and dependent on people – he pulls the phone away from his ear and quickly hangs up. He exhales out a big, shuddering breath that he hasn’t known he’s been holding in and chucks his phone to the side.

 

He can do this by himself, he can’t be weak anymore – he refuses to be. He shouldn’t need anyone because he can be strong on his own, he has to be because at the end of the day all you have is yourself, not all the time someone’s going to be your awaiting shoulder you need.

 

He picks up the divorce package that came to him weeks ago and places it on his lap, his fingers flutter over the package as fat tears build up at the brim of his eyelids. He instantly blinks them back, refusing to cry again. If this is what Zayn wants them he has no choice but to give him what he wants.

 

You can’t force someone to love you if they don’t.

 

He finally opens the divorce envelope page by page, signing what needs to be signed. Liam does it before he can regret it, he tosses the package to the side once he’s done and falls back against the bed, hands instantly going up to cover his face as tears spring uncontrollably from his brown eyes.

 

And that’s how he falls asleep.

 

He wakes up hours later, sun that was once blazing from outside his bedroom window is now down and the sky is now a cool blue, his phone is ringing loudly from where he tossed it earlier, he scrambles for it wrestling with the covers to get it before it goes to voicemail.

 

“Hi, Liam speaking,” he greets before the caller has a chance to listen to the last ring.

 

“Liam, fuck! I’ve been trying to reach you for ages.”

 

He shoots up, “Harry?” he asks, his tone of voice trembling slightly, “Why? What happened?”

 

“You called me earlier then hung up, what was that all about?”

 

“It’s was by accident, I didn’t mean to call you.”

 

Harry sighs into the phone and Liam can imagine him running his fingers through his hair right now. “Are you sure, Li? I’m not mad anymore, I shouldn’t have been mad, Liam. I understand why you did what you did, you love him and no matter what I should’ve been there; I’m still your best mate, Liam, I swear it.”

 

“I need to stop depending on people and stop being weak because it only makes me lose the people I love and care about, if I was stronger maybe my husband wouldn’t want a divorce or I wouldn’t have lost our child or you . . .” he trails off, “I mean, I’m sorry, I-I – I have to go –”

 

“Liam!” Harry shouts before Liam can hang up the phone, he puts the mobile back to his ear and waits for Harry to speak again. “You didn’t lose me; never will you lose me, Liam. And you losing the baby is not your fault, please, Liam, don’t blame yourself for that.”

 

“It was my fault for not eating and sleeping, I should’ve forced myself because I was not only putting my life in danger, I had another life to look after and I couldn’t even do that.” He sobs this time, breaking down without a shame, “you know I should’ve listened to Zayn when he said we weren’t ready for a child – he’s always fucking right! And I’m so bloody stupid –”

 

There’s a pause on both ends, Harry and Liam don’t say another word, and he listens to his friend try to hold in his sobs, hiccups wracking through his body. Harry feels absolutely helpless, like the friend in the world right now.

 

 

“Remember when you told me Zayn was going to break my heart?” Liam chuckles, but it has no trace of humour in it, “I wish I listened, I wish I wasn’t so _stupid_ and _naïve_ and  . . .”

 

Harry’s throat closes up and his words get stuck on his tongue that he can’t swallow back nor spit out.

 

“He’s leaving me because he doesn’t love me anymore, I knew for a while you know? Just didn’t want to believe it. I also messaged him a few months ago but I didn’t get a response back; he doesn’t care about me and I will accept that, it’s just going to take some time.”

 

“He cares for you Liam, Zayn cares for you and loves you so much – just-just not in that way anymore.”

 

-

 

 

 

“Li, babe, you okay?” he groaned huskily as he thrusted a bit deeper and slower into the boy beneath him. He held Liam closely, both hands cupping the side of his face as he petted back the matted hair from his forehead.

 

He moaned in response, eyes popping open as Zayn hit that spot deep inside him that got him seeing stars. His fingernails dug crescent shapes into Zayn’s shoulder blades as his ankles locked over his back tightly to rail him in. “Yes!” he shouted breathlessly, body quivering as Zayn snapped his hips harder against Liam, hitting his prostate relentlessly.

 

The room was growing swelteringly hot and musty, the air filled with body sweat and faint marijuana.

 

“You can go harder, Zee,” Liam whimpered, mouth curling and face scrunching up, taking everything Zayn was giving him – it only got harder and sloppier the more he begged for it – not that he was complaining.

 

His back arched high off the bed, erected nipples poking in the air as Zayn switched angles and hovered over him than lying on top of him.

 

A lazy fuck turned into a vigorous one, when Zayn bucked his hips harsher, pushed Liam’s legs into his chest and held onto his thighs for support. Driving into Liam’s hole rough but tantalizingly slow, letting Liam feel every drag of his cock stretching his rim open; he cried out in pleasure, blunt nails leaving marks into Zayn’s skin.

A smirk played on Zayn’s mouth as he pressed his curled fists more into the mattress on each side of Liam’s head, he watched in complete awe down at his boyfriend, Liam’s brows knitted together and his mouth so red and swollen as it curved in a large ‘O’ shape from pleasure.

 

He bent down quickly, wet mouth attaching onto Liam’s open one, swallowing down his moans and darting his tongue inside to lick the sweet and familiar taste of Liam. Zayn’s mind was all hazy and filled with bliss as his body buzzed with euphoria, he was getting lost in everything Liam, and this had never happened before, him losing control and wanting nothing more to bury himself more into the boy beneath him.

 

“What are you doing to me, Liam?” he said breathlessly, trailing his hot, open mouth over Liam’s and down his throat lazily. He got to the bass, nipping at the skin just until he got to his birthmark, Liam lolled his head back giving Zayn more access as he nipped at it, sucked ceremoniously at it, swirling his tongue to get Liam’s moans stuck in his throat before he blew air on the forming love-bite just to have the boy crumbling under him.

“Nothing,” Liam managed to get out quietly, eyes struggling to open but when they did, he looked straight into Zayn’s eyes, filled with passion and love.

 

“You don’t even realize what you’re doing to me,” Zayn spat out – not angrily though.  Liam whimpered, not taking his eyes off his boyfriend, “don’t you know I love you?” he asked, letting the boy’s legs drop lankly on either side of his waist, he gripped Liam’s face in his hands thumbs caressing over his ruddy cheeks.

 

Zayn didn’t stop ramming slowly into Liam though, long, rough drags of his cock pulsing deep into the boy. “I love you,” he murmured, kissing Liam’s mouth, “I love you a lot,” this time kissing his forehead, Liam’s still blissed out but he was listening, scratching Zayn’s scalp to make sure Zayn knew he was. “I won’t ever hurt you,” he promises between kisses until he got back to Liam’s lips.

 

 _Love him, love him hard, and make him feel your love in his bones, under his skin as it tingles for days on end . . ._ Zayn wiped the tears falling from Liam’s eyes with his thumbs as he carefully guided in then out in a more steady pace. Liam’s moans came out raggedy as he choked up on tears – not because he was hurting but because he hadn’t felt the right kind of love till now.

 

 

He came a few moments later, Zayn panting sweet nothings into his ear. His body was tingling and sensitive when Zayn filled him up, he intertwined their fingers together as they locked eyes. “I love you, too.”

 

Even in the dim, musty room you could see Liam’s blush and Zayn chuckled tracing his finger lightly over his nose and around his mouth. Liam giggled, wiggling around with Zayn still in him.

 

“I know we’re still young,” Zayn started, “but I love you so much.  I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I promise to be the best I can.”

 

Liam nodded feeling tears burn the back of his eyes, “you are the best.”

 

-

 

A week has gone by, and as promised to himself he hasn’t shed another tears – not that he could, he felt numb with all his limbs sore.

 

“Liam, my boy, you have your mum worried, please eat.” His dad Geoff says outside of his locked bedroom, he can smell the food his mum cooked for him; it only makes his stomach churn.

 

“Not hungry dad, just need to be alone for a while.” He crooked out, throat sore and dry – maybe from all the throwing up he’s done the past couple of days, just thinking about all the stuff Harry told him made him sick to his stomach.

 

 

 

“Harry all I ask is for you to tell me this one thing.” He said sternly into the phone. “I need to know, please Harry.”

 

Harry sighed, contemplating if he should tell him or not, He knew Liam should at least know this. “Liam, I don’t feel comfortable coming between you and Zayn’s relationship.” He ended up saying.

 

“Harry, was Zayn cheating on me for fucks sake, I need to know, I j-just . . . please –” he trailed off, voice breaking down as he tried to keep in his anger, “I love him so much but if he’s cheating I can’t – I mean I won’t try to fix our relationship but I need to know this.”

 

There was a long pause, if Liam couldn’t hear the heavy breathing of Harry through the receiver he would’ve thought he hung up. “This is going to break your heart even more, you’re already hurt – I can’t do this, Liam.”

 

Liam doesn’t tear up but his heart cracked a bit and fell into his stomach, as much as he didn’t want it to be true he already knew. He felt to throw up, “so it’s true? He’s been cheating on me the whole time we’ve been apart?”

 

“Liam –”

 

“Its fine Harry, I promise because I kind of already knew you know? Since he didn’t love me anymore and how all he fucking did was go on bloody work trips. Did you know before we even start fighting he’ll pack up and go over to Ant’s house?” he went on, Liam didn’t even care how whiny he sounded, he needed this off his chest, “I fucking knew for a long time but too stupid to leave or say something, like. Zayn doesn’t even look at me, its like if he does he’ll throw up and it can’t be because I have pregnancy fat because that’s long gone. I j-just I honestly don’t know what I’ve done . . .”

 

“You should probably talk with him, get some kind of closure.” That was all Harry said before they said their goodbyes.

 

 

 

He hears his dad sigh from outside his door; he buries himself further into his duvet as he nuzzles more into his pillow but no matter what he still feels uncomfortable. He feels like absolute shite for putting his parents through this, making them feel worthless because they can’t help their son through what he is going through, especially his mum.

 

“Liam you haven’t eaten in nearly a week, your mum and I are really worried that there might be something wrong with you.”

 

It takes Liam a few minutes to climb out his bed, cold air surrounding his sore body in a good way, he rubs his eyes as they burn and water before wiping over his face stressfully. He slowly unlocks and opens the door of his bed room, he sees his dad step back to take in his appearance before his eyes goes sad and he sighs. “Oh,” that’s all his dad says as he cups Liam’s cheeks, and it feels weird, not being able to feel an ounce of emotion for the pass couple of days to a whole bunch of mixed ones rushing in just being in his dad’s presence.

 

And now he feels like crying, as his dad swallows him up in his large arms and hugs him tight.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with me, I swear it dad.” He mutters into his dad’s shoulder.

 

 

“A divorce?” his mum gasps, her small hands going up to cover her mouth.

 

Liam nods his head weakly, cowering into himself as he sits on the sofa across both of his parents. “He mailed over the forms about a month or so back, I just signed them a few weeks ago. But I want to see him, you know . . . is that a good idea?” he asks looking downwards as he toys around with the silver band on his ring finger absentmindedly.

 

Karen watches him play with the band but doesn’t say a word, she smiles a watery smile before saying, “what ever you think is best, honey.”

 

He looks up with a blank expression, his brown eyes seem dead and dull, his skin pale as ever as he looks skinnier then he did when he first came to Wolverhampton – cheeks sunk in further, jaw and cheekbones more prominent in the most unhealthiest way. “I think I will, just to see him, like I need too. Is it wrong of me to miss him?” he questions unsure of himself, still fiddling with the band on his finger, he doesn’t notice that he’s doing it until he doesn’t get a response from neither of his parents, he quickly stops and slowly slides the ring off.

 

“if you feel the need to see him then do just that, I know a divorce isn’t easy but if you know that’s what needs to be done to get your closure do it. As for missing him, it’s not wrong dear.” Karen tells him in a sweet, assuring voice as she gets up from where she is sitting and embraces her son into her arms.

 

Liam naturally falls into her, immediately wrapping his arms tightly around his mother. He nuzzles into her warmth before she pulls back and cups his cheeks into her arms and starts caressing them with her thumbs, “how about I make you some tea, yeah?”

 

-

 

He turns the lock to his and Zayn’s house with shaky hands, a breath waiting in his throat as he hears the bolt and twists the knob. He walks in carefully and slow, as a wave of nerves wash over him as he stands in the large front way, the house smells awfully familiar but it doesn’t look the same; the once cream walls now plastered with all kinds of graffiti.

 

Liam smiles faintly as he trails his fingertips over the art, he always knew Zayn had a thing for drawing but giving that up in his second to third year of university. Said he didn’t have time for little hobbies and such, but Liam knew Zayn had talent – designing their first flat together even if it was a ratty old thing.

 

He followed the art all the way up to their bedroom; eyes burning and throat closing up on him when he reaching out for the door. It feels as if he’s touching fire, flinching back slightly before inhaling a brave breath of air. Sometimes it hits him like an avalanche, memories – good and bad, makes the burning sensation at the back of his eyes unbearable as tears roll down his cheeks.

 

He walks into the room, ignoring the warmth and familiarity it tries to welcome him, running his fingers over the bed sheets he’s never seen before. He can smell Zayn’s favourite cologne faintly in the air – like always, when he use to wake up that was the first thing he smelled, smiling lowly to himself as he traces the edges of his (husband’s?) pillow, he wants to bury himself into it, curl up and cry because, fuck, it’s _really_ happening.

 

Liam composes himself, biting back the sob while he looks around reminding himself that he’s suppose to be _strong_. There are boxes and bags he didn’t notice before, all labelled “LIAM’S THINGS” he’s not surprised, it’s expected really.

 

He doesn’t have to open them to know it’s all his belongings, and things he’s given Zayn over the years they’ve been together. He knows everything is placed into those boxes because it’s over and there’s no coming back from it.

 

And, no, he doesn’t cry.

 

He sometimes blames everything on himself, you know, id he just given more they wouldn’t be in this predicament. If he wasn’t so lazy (so Zayn use to accuse him from time to time) or if he was more into sex and dressing up sexy for Zayn like he use too. Maybe if he was more careful and took his pills and hadn’t gotten pregnant they wouldn’t be where they were right now. Not that he blames their unborn child; but he shouldn’t been aware.

 

-

 

“Remember when we thought we were going to be forever? Have children and live like those fairytales?” he asks, chuckling humourlessly as he chokes up on sobs. He looks at Zayn through blurry tear-filled eyes, shaky hands going up to rub his stuffy nose, “you remember right? I hate that I did this! Fucking look at me Zayn, it’s driving me mad!”

 

“What am I suppose to say? Of course I remember all those things, Liam. Fuck, you think I still don’t want that? Especially with you, so bloody much but we’re over, both you and I know if we don’t end it now it’ll only get messier.”

 

He gets up from where he sat on the bed, sucking in a deep breath as he sizing up Zayn, touching noses and chest, Liam clenches down on his jaw and puts his hands out and shoves as hard as he can at Zayn. “You’re not even fucking trying, you’re giving up on us because it’s easy, and we can work this out! It’s only a little thing we can fix, plea –”

 

Zayn stumbles back as his lower back hits painfully on the drawer; he winces but ignores the pain shooting up his back as his eyes narrow and darkens in as he stares daggers at Liam. “I don’t fucking love you; that’s why I didn’t call you back, that’s why I go on business trips, Liam! Because I don’t love you anymore; you think if I wanted this to work I wouldn’t have sent those divorce papers, I would’ve came to your parents and begged for you to come back, but I don’t want you here.” He shouts venom dripping from his tongue as each painful word leaves his mouth.

 

He watches Liam crumble into himself as his eyes water and bottom lip quivers; he forces everything in him not to move, not to embrace him in his arms and apologize and tell him it’s a lie because he does love him (even if it isn’t in that way anymore) and that taking all those tips were really for work but he doesn’t.

 

It’s harsh and mean and disgusting to break someone’s heart further like this. But it’s the easiest, just to spit everything out at once.

 

“You’re lying.”

 

His face goes stone cold, lips pursing together as he fights with his brain not to reach out and wipe those big, fat tears streaming down Liam’s face. His heart hurts beating against his chest, and there’s a nasty feeling swirling around in his stomach that makes him want to throw up but he swallows the lump in his throat and grits out, “do I bloody look like I’m lying? The fuck do I got to be lying for?”

 

He chokes, coughing and hiccupping on wet sobs, he looks away shamefaced, cheeks becoming more blotchy; “nothing. Nothing at all, I didn’t mean to accuse you of that – sorry.”

 

“Stop crying,” Zayn hushes him, urging forward to cuddle Liam, “please, Liam, stop crying.” He says with a choke, pulling the man into his arms and squeezing him there.

 

This is so wrong, he thinks as he feels Liam shaking in his arms.

 

“Can I stay the night one last time please?” he pulls away a bit to look Zayn into his eyes; it holds emotions of all kinds that make his stomach churn. He hates that he can’t just know what Zayn’s thinking about anymore, why he looks at him with disgust and regret and something else he can’t put his finger on.

 

He whimpers when Zayn doesn’t answer, he goes in for another hug, arms wrapping tightly around Zayn’s tiny torso as he buries his face into his chest and breathes in to push those sobs back.

 

“Al-alright,” he stutters out.

 

-

 

The time ticks on slowly, the moon shining brightly through the peeks of the curtains in the bedroom. There’s a light trace of awkward tension in the room as Zayn lies on his side boring holes into the back of Liam’s head. He wants to reach out and feel his skin on his fingertips; wants to remember the taste of it under his tongue and hear him giggle one last time. The distance is taunting even if it’s just an inch away; he knows he can’t.

 

He listens to Liam’s breathing, the heavy intakes and long stressful exhales, he’s awake.

 

“Li,” he whispers, “you awake?”

 

He doesn’t turn around but Zayn sees him nod his head. “Yeah,” he chuckles, “you should be sleeping its like three am.”

 

“I can’t, not with you in here,” _and I can’t hold you or touch you_ , he hold back as he sits up in the bed and sighs.

 

Liam tries not to take that to heart, but it hurts nonetheless, “I-I can go, you know, like. The other bedrooms, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in your own bed, Zayn. I never wanted you to ever feel like that way. . . I keep fucking everything up – just say go and I’ll leave.”

 

“I don’t want you to leave. Fuck, this is so hard because I want to hold you and kiss you right now. I want us back but – it can never be like that again. I don’t feel what I felt for you anymore and do you realize how terrified I am? I fucking loved you so much it pained me. And – I don’t know what happened, was it me? Or was it you? Hell if I know but.” He sighs, closing his eyes shut as he rubs over his face, “I never want you to go, ever Liam.”

 

There’s a stream of silence that washes over them, air gets stuck in both of their throats and Liam wants to scream.

 

“Can you fucking stop with the bloody mixed signals, please?” He finally turns around to look at Zayn, he lays on his side and props up on his elbow, “It’s driving me mad, you can’t spit hateful stuff at me one minute and tell me this the next. It’s mind-twisting and nasty.”

 

“I know and I’m sorry. It’s just. Having you here, in my bed like this and I can’t touch you is maddening.” He says, lowering himself down in the bed so he’s also lying on his side. “I’ve said some awful things earlier that I didn’t mean, I’m so sorry, babe.”

 

Liam winces, mouth going dry as he closes his eyes shut tight, he can feel the boring of Zayn’s concentrated eyes on him and it makes him feel small and vulnerable. “Don’t say stuff like that, Zayn.” His voice betrays him as it cracks and swallows down the lump clogging his throat.

 

“I do so badly, babe. If I could fix everything, God, I would. You definitely wouldn’t be here crying right now.” He whispers in a soft voice, sliding over a bit to run the tip of his fingers over the warmth of Liam’s cheek. “I would never think we would be in a situation like this – I hate seeing you cry because of me.”

 

“I’ve been doing that lately – the crying over you, it’s exhausting, really.” He laughs out brokenly, as he gives into the touch. “All I ever wanted to do was make you happy, Zayn.”

 

His thumb caresses over his plump bottom lip, before he gasps the edge of Liam’s chin, “you did, babe. You made me so happy.”

 

“Kiss me, please.”

 

“I can’t,” he rubs over Liam’s bottom lip as he juts it out, it’s red and swelled and so tempting.

 

“You can, one last time, I just – I want this, one more time.”

 

Zayn pulls Liam closes to him until their bodies are pushed up against each others. Liam’s breath hitches when their nose brush, he curls his fists into Zayn’s shirt at his back when Zayn’s lips connect with his neck rather than his mouth. His dry mouth presses kisses there, on top of his throat as it gets harder for Liam to breathe; his dull nails dig crescent shapes into Zayn’s back when he feels the first swipe of Zayn’s tongue across his jugular.

 

“Um,” he moans, lolling his head back to the side to give Zayn more access, he goes completely submissive into Zayn’s arms, his brain getting fuzzy as all he can focus on is the alternation of Zayn’s going between sucking ceremoniously and licking soothing over the spot he’s claiming.

“Zayn,” he says breathless, arms goes weak as he tries to push him off his body. They shouldn’t be doing this especially now. “Fuck, oh my God,” his back arches when Zayn’s mouth trails further down teeth scraping over his collarbone and his hands roaming and gripping his thighs.

 

“Tell me no and I’ll stop.”

 

Liam shakes his head, his mouth curves over the word no instead, “please,” rolls his tongue.

 

Zayn hovers over him, pressing all his weight on top of Liam’s body then finally puts his now-wet mouth on Liam’s open one. He swallows down the breath Liam lets out. They don’t move for a while, mouth against mouth as Liam tries to regain some air, he whines out and squirms underneath Zayn before he darts his tongue out and relishes in the strong taste of Liam, he sighs into it letting his eyes flutter shut as the familiar taste floods his mouth.

 

Kissing Liam brings him back to the perfect moments in their relationship, when everything was so easy between them and Liam still can’t quite catch onto the movement of Zayn’s lips on his so he lets him do all the work.

 

“Can you – please . . . one last time, Zee.”

 

He knows what Liam wants and he’s going to give it to him – one last time.

 

He starts off slow, slower than usual, finding all of Liam’s favourite spots with his tongue and squeezing and spanking all his favourite areas. The sounds Liam makes make his head spin, the gasp and moans and groans, all because of him.

 

-

**__ **

**_EIGHT YEARS LATER . . ._ **

 

 “You’re going to be good for baba right? Do your coursework and no tricking him into giving you sweets before dinner?”

 

“Yes daddy, but why can’t we stay with you it’s not even the weekend yet?” Zahra asks.

 

Liam turns a bit in the passenger seat, resting a hand over his nine month belly to face his twins who were sitting in their booster seats. “Because I’m having baby Jewels in a day or so, and it’ll be easier if you stay with baba.”

 

Zahir’s face lights up at the name of his baby sister and stops playing with his batman toy, “but I want to see her too, you promise daddy.” He whines crossing his little arms over his chest.

 

Liam laughs and so does Ethan – Liam’s fiancé – in the driver’s seat, “you will little man, your baba will drive you to hospital when your sister’s here but for a while you and Zahra will stay here when your dad gets rest.” He explains softly to Zahir when he pulls up Zayn’s driveway.

 

“And Amir is going to be there," Liam tells him, their faces light up at the mention of their cousin - Doniyah's son - who is also eight years old. "you guy’s will have fun.” Liam reminds them as he smiles softly at his twins, it’s crazy how much they look exactly like Zayn, it’s just Zahra has his nose and same honey brown curls.

 

Liam rubs over his stomach soothing a few times before telling them to grab their belongings. He opens the door for them and holds their hands as he waddles up the pathway to the front door. He out of breath half way up and the kids already raced it up to the door, he smiles when he sees the door opening and Zayn comes to view, he has the twins in his arms as their legs wrap around him securely as they hug him tightly.

 

“Looks like you’re about to pop any minutes, Li.” Zayn chuckles when Liam finally makes it. His cheeks are red and his feet ache but he still manages to give Zayn the finger.

 

“Bugger off will you? I can’t wait until she’s out she’s been punching non-stop at my bladder.” He complains and Zayn bursts out into laugher. The twins don’t know what’s funny but they laugh anyway.

 

“You look good though, pregnant looks nice on you.”

 

Liam rolls his eyes, keeping a hand underneath his stomach for support, “that’s not weird to say at all, Zayn, thanks.”  

 

“Baba, daddy’s going to have my baby sister soon, and Ethan’s mum is coming here from Jamaica to see her.” Zahir exclaims, “Daddy also says she’s going to be very tiny and pain in a bum so we have to stay with you for a while.”

 

Zayn presses his forehead into the side of Zahir’s head and chuckles at his excitement, he’s been so happy and jumpy for so long it’s so cute, he likes to keep Liam company and rub over his stomach when they are lying down, he also loves to talk to the unborn child since the day Liam came home and told him that the baby can hear now.

 

“I know baby, and we’re going to have so much fun. Even Amir is staying with us for a while, he misses you loads.”

 

Zahir nods and shakes out of Zayn’s grip and runs into the house as fast as his little feet can take him, there’s a scream of “Amir!” and two boy’s giggling after and both Liam and zayn shake their head.

 

“Just no sweets before dinner Zayn, remind them to brush their teeth and comb Zahra’s hair before bed, and –”

 

He’s more out of breath when Zayn cuts him off, “I know Liam, damn.”

 

“Sometimes I have to remind you because you forget the kids are always on my side and tell me everything.”

 

Zayn fake gasps and starts to tickle Zahra’s tummy, “that’s not true is it, baby girl?”

 

She’s giggling hysterically, reaching out for Liam, she’s turning red in the face and Liam goes into full parent panic mode, “Zayn will you quit it? You’re going to make her wee herself; you’re like an eight year old like them sometimes.”

 

“Daddy’s like an old grandpa sometimes baba, always telling us to be careful,” Zahra exposes and Liam rolls his eyes.

 

“Are you on my side or your baba’s?”

 

“Baba’s daddy!” she squeals when Zayn gives her a raspberry on her rosy cheeks.

 

“Good girl, baby, daddy’s evil isn’t he?”

 

She shakes her head, “No, Ethan says he’s just moody because Jewels makes him that way.”

 

Liam scoffs at that as a fond smile spreads over his lips, “you’re being mean, Zahra, so I’m leaving but be good, you hear me?” he tells her strictly and she nods her head in understanding because she knows her daddy isn’t joking around. He leans over and gives her a few forehead kisses, “Tell Zahir I love him ok? And I’ll see you guys soon with Jewels, alright?”

 

“Yes, bye daddy, love you.”

 

“Take care, Li,” Zayn says genuinely, “it’s good to see you happy, glowing and all, I wish nothing but the best for you and Ethan and baby Jewels.”

 

“Thank you so much, Zayn that really means a lot. But we have to go, going to pick up Ethan’s mum at the airport.”

 

Zayn watches with a small smile gracing his lips as Ethan gets out of the car to help Liam into the passenger seat. He’s honestly so happy that Liam found someone to love him, and build a strong family with and just be there for him as a whole. He has met Ethan a handful of times and he knows he’s great, amazing to his children and to Liam.

 

-

 

** THE END **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super shit ending but ....
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter please leaves kudos and comments. ily
> 
> \- 
> 
> tumblr: gigglybeann.tumblr.com  
> Twitter: @melaninsugar


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